I’m back! After a very long spring and summer hiatus I finally have some reformity and transformity in my life.
I’ve been rather transparent with my mental health journey in the past and I work hard to maintain as much of a balance in my life as I can but I truly needed to practice what I preach and take a good long hard look in the mirror these past months. Dealing with depression and anxiety is no joke, it’s crippling at times…and it’s a constant work in progress.
I’ve struggled with the decision to go back on my meds or not and after a lot of research and soul searching I’ve decided to try different avenues for now. I fear the side effects of antidepressants more than anything at this point. What I’ve done instead is perhaps a bit hippy-dippy…I’ve stocked my home with essential oils to diffuse and roll-on, I’ve amped my gut health vitamins and nutrients as well as be more consistent with my multi-vitamins. (Did you know there’s a direct relationship between your gut and your mental health? My regime now includes probiotics AND prebiotics.). I’ve also started to take time 3-5 times a week to study some personal growth “textbooks” (which right now include a lot of Brene Brown “The Gifts of Imperfection” and Sarah Knight “The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a F*ck). I’m slowly learning what it means to trust myself and stand up for myself. I’m a perfectionist in the most ugly ways of that word. I am learning to be kinder to myself. Asking for help is THE HARDEST thing for me. It smells and tastes like failure and I really need to change my perspective on that (once again, practice what I preach!). I have a lot to learn and a long way to go but I needed to take that time to focus on my health.
I’m all about the simple things, the little pleasures and the morsels of happy-inducing that flutter through our lives daily. I had gotten to a place of so much pain, bleakness, guilt, worry, regret and just plain old despair that I couldn’t shake the dark cloud that had made its home over me. I needed to refocus and get back to a healthier head space. I needed to do this for me and my family. So that in turn led to way less blogging and photographing for the blog (which can I just say has gotten a lot harder with my impatient helper!! Lol!)…BUT I’m back! I’m still working on me but I’m breathing a little bit easier everyday! So the lost has been found.
I encourage you to take the time you need for your own heart and health too! It’s a day-to-day process and it takes compassion and persistence. It ultimately starts with you but there are many ways to get help…don’t go it alone.